In 2016, Chris Harpring ’98, an engineer, and his wife, Rebecca, a former nurse, had their first of two miscarriages. They longed to provide their baby with a dignified burial, but there were so many questions to ask, so many decisions to make, so many problems to solve—all in such a short window of time. And when they looked for resources, few could be found.
With her background in nursing, Rebecca managed to obtain the supplies she needed to recover her baby’s remains for burial, but the process was not easy. Then, after the baby had been delivered, a new question arose: Where could they bury their baby?
They received permission to have a burial on the gravesite of Chris’ grandparents. Rebecca’s mom made a little silk lace wrap for the burial vessel; her dad built a tiny casket; and their pastor offered a graveside service. The support of their families and their parish was a balm for their grief. Yet, Rebecca felt unsettled.
“There was a sense of feeling guilty for taking the priest’s time, because, well, nobody else is doing this, so why am I doing this?” remembers Rebecca.
But that guilt dissolved when she and Chris realized the biggest reason others didn’t bury their miscarried child: They simply didn’t know how.
“So many people started coming to us and saying, ‘How did you get to bury your baby? I wish I had been able to do that,’” explains Rebecca. “That’s when Chris and I asked ourselves: Could we bring some good out of our loss?”
The Harprings began brainstorming ways to help other families. In 2019, they began planting the seeds that eventually grew into Covenant Resources Miscarriage Ministry, an organization offering practical and spiritual support for families facing miscarriage.
First, the ministry provides same-day supplies to help families preserve the baby’s remains. They developed a Miscarriage Supply Tote containing items such as recovery supplies, burial vessels, and even silk lace wraps like the ones Rebecca’s mom made. These totes can be stocked at easily accessible locations such as churches, pregnancy centers, hospitals, and Catholic bookstores.
Second, the ministry facilitates access to dignified burial places. The Harprings have helped to establish three Little Souls Cemeteries—special cemetery sections reserved for miscarried babies and free of charge for families—and are in the process of facilitating several more.
Having the supplies and information readily at hand can be a godsend for distraught parents experiencing a miscarriage. “It empowers parents to get the help they need, that they may not even realize they need,” says Rebecca.
“It also gives the father an opportunity to support his wife,” adds Chris. “He can take care of what needs to be done, if he knows he can do this.”
With deep empathy, the Harprings recognize that many factors can prevent families from being able to bury their babies.
“We always make sure to let families know that if they did not bury their baby, they didn’t do anything wrong. They did the best they could in a bad situation,” emphasizes Rebecca.
The Harprings’ four young children help with the ministry, honoring the memory of their two miscarried siblings as they assemble totes or set up tables for fundraisers.
“The kids love being involved in the ministry,” says Chris. “They’re always talking about how important it is and how much they like it.”
“You’re in a very vulnerable position when you’ve miscarried,” says Rebecca. “And just having somebody else saying, ‘You know what, it is OK; you are allowed to bury,’ or ‘Here’s an avenue to think about; I’m here to support you,’ can make the biggest difference in somebody’s life.”
